I am completely shattered in many ways. My faith in people, my trust in people and my love for people have been totally compromised. I have some really tough decisions to make and very soon. As I try to figure out what to do and how to do it, wounds from my past are resurfacing and causing me much pain. I know that I am going to have to forgive or at least try to forget those who have wronged me but it is really hard. How can people treat people so poorly, especially your own flesh and blood???
My Mama has hurt me deeply and in return, she has ruined any chance of a relationship with her only grand-kids. This is very hard for me to understand. My babies will never have the memories with her that I have had with my Grandma and this hurts me for them. How can you not want to be around your only Grand-babies???? When she is around them, she tells them how they are going to Hell because they aren't in church, complains constantly about her health and how the kids never call her. Hello? Why would anyone want to be around that or call and hear that on the phone? My Grandma never complained and never ragged me about anything. When I was 18 and decided to go on birth control (because of the rape I sustained at the age of 17) my Grandma was the one I went to. She was so supportive and even said "I wish they had that stuff when I was your age cause I wouldn't have had your Mama", lol. This is just who my Grandma was. She loved everybody and never judged. She sure didn't pass this on to her daughters, sadly.
